Copyright Jim Willis 2001, all rights reserved
(From his best-selling book Pieces of My Heart – Writings Inspired by Animals and Nature)
http://www.crean.com/jimwillis
A flock of seagulls may frost you
with dollops of green and white,
a murder of crows may frighten you
with caws in the middle of night.
A gaggle of geese may warn you
of winter’s approaching gloom,
but a swarm of bees is unwelcome,
unless you give ‘em plenty of room.
A shrewdness of apes may impress you,
their brains like ours on a par,
a pace of asses might strike you,
with just how like us they are!
A quiver of cobras might evict you,
unless a kettle of hawks is about,
but an intrusion of (shudder) cockroaches
is very difficult to rout out!
A bed of oysters may lull you
with the temptation to take a nap,
a rhumba of rattlesnakes is definitely not
something you’d want in your lap.
A clamour of rooks may clamor,
a host of sparrows may host,
but if you’re having a party, you wouldn’t invite
a flink (twelve cows at the most).
A clutch of chicks may grip you,
a clowder of cats detain,
a trip of goats impede you from
your composure to maintain.
A cete of badgers may unnerve you,
a culture of bacteria invade,
but a band of gorillas won’t hurt you,
though they’re liable to upset your maid.
A yoke of oxen may tow you
should you suffer a breakdown,
an unkindness of ravens won’t help you
catch a lift to the nearest town.
A string of ponies might squire you
along a country road,
and an army of frogs will strike you as
not as quiet as a dead toad.
A smack of jellyfish may accost you,
a mob of kangaroos might, too,
a gang of elk could alarm you,
a horde of gnats you might rue.
A stud of mares might confuse you,
a bouquet of pheasants, too,
but a charm of finches won’t bother you,
unless they decide to nest in your “do.”
A husk of hares could tell you,
where to find delicious corn,
a lamentation of swimming swans
might sound like blaring horns.
A pod of porpoises can outswim
your best efforts, you must admit,
and a skulk of foxes won’t ever tell
where they’ve hidden their kits.
A wisp of snipes might swipe you,
a dray of squirrels annoy,
a flock of swifts might swat you,
mustering storks bring bundles of joy.
A bevy of quail might warn you
about a swarm of rats,
and there’s few things cuter in this world
than a kindle of baby cats.
And as you attempt to memorize,
study hard to learn the groups,
you’ll learn a pack from a pod,
and not to call a team a troop.
When you’re done you may figure out
that most don’t give a clue,
which is why animals are often smarter
than a Congress of humans – ‘tis true!
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